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[bcmp4e]

What did the lady on the beach say to michael jackson?

Excuse me sir you're in my son!

[bcmp4e]

o come on you guys lol lame

A life guard runs up to little jonny's mom and he is pissed. He says "Ma'am if your son pees in the pool one more time i am gonna to kick him out of the pool for life." But little jonny's mom thought that was stupid she says "WHY?!?! that's no fair! everybody pees in the pool!"

The life guard responds, "maybe, but not from the diving board."

[SUPERDAD]

Haha Those Are Pretty Funny Bcmp4e

[FisherPerson]

Prince Charles took up jogging. Every day, he'd jog past a hooker
standing on the same street corner.

'One hundred and fifty pounds!' she'd shout from the curb.

'No! Five pounds!' he would fire back, just to shut her up.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was
almost certain to follow. This ritual between him and the hooker
became a daily occurrence. He'd run by and she'd yell, One hundred
and Fifty pounds! He'd yell back, Five pounds!

One day, Camilla decided to accompany her husband on his jog. As
the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Prince
Charles realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder
what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured
he'd better have a good explanation for his wife.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner,
he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was
the hooker. He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched
the pair jog past.

Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled, 'See what you get for
five quid, you tight bastard?

[autumngirl]

Originally Posted by bcmp4e

What did the lady on the beach say to michael jackson?

Excuse me sir you're in my son!

Now, that's just sick.

[clowner123]

Originally Posted by wlmartinek

Subject: The cremated husband


Martha recently lost her husband.
She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the Patio
table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to
him....

"Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with
the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
"Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it
with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in
the ashes she said, "Herman, that diamond ring you promised me?
Bought it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Herman,
remember that blow job I promised you?"

Here it comes..........

you have like the funniest jokes that whenever i'm feeling down, i read your jokes and crack up, thx for brightening my day

LISA

[Alan_Cayo]

One night I was driving along a narrow winding road when a police car pulled me over.

The Policeman said, "Sir, didn't you notice that your wife fell out of the car about two miles back when you made that sharp turn to the left?"

"Oh my God, Thank goodness", I replied. "I thought I had gone deaf."

[Alan_Cayo]

A young man went to the pharmacy and asked for some condoms. The Pharmacist asked him if he wanted a pack of 3, 6, 12 or two dozen.

Proudly the young man replied that he was having dinner at his girlfriend's house but afterwards he expected to really have a hot time in the back seat of the car so he would like to take the package of two dozen condoms.

That evening at his girlfriend's table her parents asked him to say grace. He bowed his head and started reciting the Lord's Prayer over and over.

Fifteen minutes later his girl friend stopped him and whispered, "I didn't know you were so religious."

To which he replied, "I didn't know your father was a Pharmacist."

[bcmp4e]

Originally Posted by Alan_Cayo

One night I was driving along a narrow winding road when a police car pulled me over.

The Policeman said, "Sir, didn't you notice that your wife fell out of the car about two miles back when you made that sharp turn to the left?"

"Oh my God, Thank goodness", I replied. "I thought I had gone deaf."

LMAO! this one really good

[yvang945]

Originally Posted by Alan_Cayo

One night I was driving along a narrow winding road when a police car pulled me over.

The Policeman said, "Sir, didn't you notice that your wife fell out of the car about two miles back when you made that sharp turn to the left?"

"Oh my God, Thank goodness", I replied. "I thought I had gone deaf."

lol, that one got me laughing.